TOS September Newsletter
Dear Oxford School families,
As you peruse our calendar of upcoming events at the school, I hope that you and your child feel well supported in developing routines and skills that will lead to success.
However I would like to take this opportunity early in the year to address the benefits of failure.
Yes, you read that right.
Since disappointment and falling short are invariably things that we all face, learning how to deal with them is absolutely invaluable. It's also something that too many parents deal with instead of their children; when we rescue students from disappointment and its consequences, we rob them of an opportunity to grow and gain perspective. There could be no safer and more empathetic environment for young people to experience this than The Oxford School.
Let me give you a personal example.
A couple of years ago my teenage son injured his shoulder playing football. We waited in the ER at a large university teaching hospital (for what seemed forever) when we were told that a Dr. Frizzelli (the names have been changed to protect the innocent) would see him shortly. Frizzelli is not a particularly common name, and I searched my memory for a John Frizzelli who I had taught several years ago in grade 8.
"Frizzelli. Frizzelli...you know I taught a Frizzeli a while ago and he was incorrigible. He was impossible and a really difficult student. So I'd be pretty surprised if it was the same guy.”
But of course, it was.
"Wow John, it's so great to see you! And an orthopaedic resident no less!"
He replied, without a beat: "That would be Dr. Frizzeli", with mock seriousness.
And so we chatted while he patched up my son. When I asked him the secret of how he'd come so far he had a very definite answer: "I was allowed to make mistakes, own them, and deal with the consequences. Even before grade 8. This taught me that I could work out a plan for myself, find the right motivation, and do what I wanted, which was to study medicine".
This episode also taught me that students develop at very different rates in different ways, and I have now seen so many Dr. John Frizzelli's that I'm never surprised at the late bloomer. Sometimes students become motivated and find something meaningful, and other times it's just the reverse; something becomes meaningful and they become motivated.
So as the year unfolds, don't rescue your child from a thorny homework problem, disappointing athletic performance, or working out an issue with their best friend. Let them manage in their own way, and the culture and resources of the school will be there to help them along if need be.
Adam de Pencier
Head of School
We hope this newsletter finds you happy and well, and that the information provided will be helpful as you scan the September horizon; developing good sound routines is helpful for children and families alike.
When we occasionally change our children’s routines, we confirm the basic soundness of them while simultaneously developing new skills and insights: brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand, serving an English style breakfast for dinner, and listening to a story instead of reading it are all tried and true ways of accomplishing the same thing from a new perspective.
And of course different perspectives are what Septembers are all about, as is school itself.
The September Newsletter contains important information such as; Whats Happening in September, Friendly Reminders, Dates to Remember and the TOS Event Calendar.
If you wish to receive this newsletter by email, please contact the administration at info@theoxfordschool.ca.